My cousin sent me a text a few days ago to tell me her mother, my aunt, was in the hospital. She sent an update later. Her mother would be moved to compassionate care. “We are not going to win this one.” I immediately began searching my memories. When was the last time I’d seen … Continue reading Suddenly, it’s the last time
My mom insisted on carrying her husband’s ashes on our United Airlines flight from Houston on Memorial Day weekend. A hard and heavy thing to carry, literally and emotionally. A sealed plastic box with the cremated remains of the man she’d married and shared her life with for 62 years. I’m sitting in the seat … Continue reading Bringing her husband home
The other day I started a message to a beloved friend. I typed “how are you feeling?” Hang on, I thought. Is this the question I really want to ask? Is this the question I want to ask to this man I love? This man does not live with me. We are separated by an … Continue reading What are you feeling?
Near the end of January, I checked the weather. It was freezing. With the ripping northeast wind, the temperature was 13 degrees. There was a small craft advisory. That wind direction meant there’d be impressive chop in the small cove. Perfect day of a swim. And not. We decided to meet at the cove and … Continue reading United We Swim
Last month, after the inauguration of our new president and vice president, I wrote President and Dr. Biden a letter. I posted it in an envelope I addressed by hand and hand-selected the stamp. I once worked as a summer congressional intern, answering constituents’ mail, so I know mailing a letter to the president and … Continue reading Dear President and Dr. Biden
I found this little card this morning. A drawing of a tiny boat being tossed on high curly waves, teetering atop the tallest crest, heading into a horizon with a low, dark cloud looming, tucked in the upper left corner of the frame. It has two simple words etched at the base of that middle, … Continue reading have faith
In the days and weeks since my father’s death, I go to the water to smell the salt air and taste the salt water when my own tears won’t fall. I go to the water for solace and guidance as cancer ravages my sister’s body in the heavy wake of my father’s death. I go … Continue reading I go to the water
“Was it COVID?” This question was hurled in a hushed voice at my mother, a wicked curve ball mere days after my dad’s death. This was before I realized that I’d need to block for my mother. Block insensitive and senseless questions. Too shell-shocked and polite, my mother answered on autopilot. “No.” And that should … Continue reading What not to say to a bereaved spouse
On a layover in BWI airport, I noticed a young couple near me, waiting for their takeout order at a restaurant. They stood facing each other, embracing. They gazed in each other’s eyes, smiled, laughed. They shared a chair when they sat down together, arms wrapped around each other. When they got their order, the … Continue reading I miss hugs
As a journalist, I have written many, many obituaries. It’s a regular task–a privilege/challenge–as a community reporter. As a journalism professor, early in a beginning news writing class, I’d assign the students an obituary to report and write. It teaches all the most critical skills; it’s vitally important to get the information accurate. Every detail. … Continue reading Writing an Obituary
redbootsblog 